


The Wonderful World of Ozzfest

by Icantswim



Category: Guns N' Roses, Metallica, Mötley Crüe, ozzy osbourne - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Axl Rose and Vince Neil have beef, Cliff Burton Lives, Concerts, Heavy Metal, M/M, Multichapters, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Randy Rhoads Lives, Tours, not historically accurate, ozzfest, rock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26289652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icantswim/pseuds/Icantswim
Summary: It’s Ozzfest 1988!With special guests: Metallica, Mötley Crüe, and Guns ‘N Roses!—How will these three bands juggle love, jealousy, heartbreak, and betrayal while on tour? Find out on The Wonderful World of Ozzfest—(That was really dramatic) Basically it’s my interpretation of what Ozzfest would be like with these three party-animal bands. The only plot twist is that some of them are gay!
Relationships: Duff McKagan/Izzy Stradlin, Kirk Hammett/Jason Newsted, Tommy Lee/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 24
Kudos: 30





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! A few things to know for this story...
> 
> 1) There is m/m pairings for this story if that makes you uncomfortable then sorry this isn’t the story for you   
>  \- Tommy Lee/Nikki Sixx   
>  \- Duff McKagan/Izzy Stradlin   
>  \- Kirk Hammett/Jason Newsted 
> 
> 2) Randy Rhoads and Cliff Burton are still alive and well  
>  -Randy still plays for Ozzy  
>  \- Cliff left Metallica on good terms and is in his own band (I needed Jason in this but I also needed Cliff alive) 
> 
> 3) Steven Adler was not kicked out of Guns ‘N Roses 
> 
> 4) Even though GNR were probably millionaires in 1988 (when the story takes place) I still want them living together in hell house.

To say that Ozzfest was going to be epic was an understatement. 

First there was Metallica who was appropriately dubbed Alcholica. Then there was the world’s most destructive band in Guns ‘n Roses. As well as the literal embodiment of the phrase ‘sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll’ for Mötley Crüe. To round it off it was overseen by the biggest party animal to exist, Ozzy Osbourne.

When each of the bands had heard who they were going to be touring with they were all shocked. Clearly the managers hadn’t thought it through. Each band was terror on tour by themselves. Multiply that by 4 and you have a walking tornado AKA this year's Ozzfest.

Some were skeptical when it came to having both Mötley Crüe and Guns N’ Roses on the same tour. Tension ran high when it came to the two bands. Both wild L.A bands with mouthy singers who couldn’t stand each other. The remainder of the two bands were pretty cool with one another but often had to pick sides when the singers started another petty feud.

Now for Metallica, they aren’t too sure if they're ready for that much leather pants, hairspray, and whatever else GNR and the Crüe has going on. But, touring with Ozzy was never dull, so why pass up the opportunity?

And for Ozzy. Well Ozzy couldn’t give a rats-arse who was on tour with him, as long as they played decently and didn’t have a stick up their arse then they were honestly set. 

  
  
  


**The Rainbow, Los Angeles: 28 hours before Ozzfest Starts**

“I’m honestly a bit nervous to go on this tour guys.” Tommy yells to his bandmates over the loud music at the club they were spending their last “free” night at as they all nurse their drinks around a small table.

“Why the fuck are you nervous?” Vince questions loudly.

“Well for starters, last time we went on tour with Ozzy, Nikki snorted ants and Ozzy licked up Nikki’s piss.” Tommy begins as he fiddles his empty beer bottle.

“Don’t worry T. I won’t be that fucked up this time around. I swear.” Nikki vows as he internally cringes at the thought of what happened the last time the band toured with Ozzy.

“Secondly, I’m not looking forward to having to pull Vince from Axl’s throat every two seconds.” Tommy tells his bandmates.

“Like seriously man,” The drummer turns towards Vince, “can’t you two just get along?” 

Vince mumbles something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like “ugly ass giraffe.” 

“I’m going to choose to ignore that comment.” Tommy says before continuing with his dilemma.

“Also I’m deadass convinced that Metallica is going to kick our asses.. Seriously, those fuckers scare me.” Tommy shudders.

“Why would they beat us up?” Vince inquires, looking a bit unsettled. 

“Well we wear makeup, leather pants, and fishnets. Not to mention me and Nikki are gay.” Tommy shrugs, looking at his hands below the table. 

“Come on man, they aren’t going to beat us up for how we dress.” Vince tries.

“Maybe, maybe not. But the gay thing. That makes me a bit nervous.” Tommy admits.

  
  


“Don’t be ridiculous, they won’t beat you up for being gay.” Mick finally speaks up.

“What makes you so sure?” Tommy asks skeptically.

“Well a little birdie told me,” Mick pauses to check around him to make sure no one is close enough to hear, “that two of them are dating each other.”

“Really?” Tommy asks, dumbfounded.

“No shit.” Vince deadpans, shocked.

“Which two?” Nikki questions, genuinely curious.

“You’ll just have to find out on tour.” Mick says with a shiteating grin before he gets up and leaves for the bar.

“That motherfucker.” The three mumble together.

  
  
  


**Hell House, Hollywood: 27 hours before Ozzfest**

  
  


“Who wants to make a bet on the amount of times Axl fights Vince on tour?” Duff asks his bandmates as they play a game of poker. 

“Me! Me!” Steven’s hand shoots up in the air.

“We should do a betting pool.” Slash suggests after folding his cards.

“50 bucks each?” Duff asks the rest of the band, who nods their agreement.

“Wait what is classified as a ‘fight’?” Steven questions.

“They've gotta rough each other up a bit.” Duff clarifies.

“Okay so,” Duff reaches for a pen and a piece of paper from the middle of the table, “predictions. I’ll go first.” Duff scribbles his name and his prediction beside it. “15 scraps by the end of the tour.” The bassist says as he writes.

Each took turns writing down their predictions. Axl was pissed and flipped everyone off when the paper was passed to him.

“Spoilsport.” Duff says.

“So Slash has the least amount with 7. Which is very naive of you .” Duff begins reading off the list.”Then me with 15, followed by Izzy with 27. And finally Steven with 75.” 

Everyone starts cracking up at the drummer's ludicrous guess. Well except Axl who just throws the nearest thing at Stevens head. Which happens to be a handful of poker chips.

“Ow!” Steven rubs at his cheek when one of the chips goes rogue and hits him there.

“You know what? I’m gonna go play for Mötley Crüe. Maybe I won’t be subjected to such abuse.” The drummer announces.

“And what? Replace Tommy? Good luck with that one.” Axl snorts.

“Yeah your right, I could never be as good as him. He’s such a great drummer. And he’s nice, and funny, and cool.” Steven sighs.

“Shit, sounds like someone’s got a crush on a certain drummer.” Axl states.

“The only thing about Tommy Lee I have a crush on is his sick drumming skills.” Steven claims.

“Plus even if I did have a crush on Tommy, I’m pretty sure Nikki would have to murder me.” The blonde drummer shrugs.

  
  
**  
**

**Lars Ulrich’s House: 26 hours before Ozzfest**

“Is it too late to back out?” James asks the rest of Metallica as they all lazily sit in Lars’ living room.

“Probably.” Kirk answers shortly.

“There’s just so much makeup and leather pants.” James groans as he hits his head on the couch with a light thud.

“I don’t think Guns ‘N Roses wear makeup.” Lars supplies.

“Shut up.” James replies.

“You guys want to do the instrument swap tomorrow?” Kirk asks after a few beats of silence.

“And what? No drum solo?” Lars inquires, pretending to be hurt by the suggestion.

“I call guitar!” Jason shoots immediately.

“I’ll do bass,” Kirk starts, “I’ve been practicing my Gene Simmons moves.”

“I guess I’ll do drums.” James mumbles with a sigh.

“Buck up buttercup,” Lars gives the singer a playful shove, “drums are fun as shit.”

“Wait, that means you’re gonna sing.” James groans.

“I’ll just pull an Axl Rose and run around the stage while I’m singing so you can hardly hear me.

“Thank God.” Jason mutters under his breath.

“What was that Newkid?” Lars interrogates.

Jason goes pale, knowing he’s probably royally fucked for saying that out loud. 

“Can we stop calling him that? He’s been here for like 3 years. He stopped being the new kid a while ago.” Kirk defends the bassist.

“Calm down man, it’s just a joke,” Lars puts his hands up in surrender. “No need to bitch me out.” 

“Anyways!” James interrupts, trying to steer the conversation to a lighter tone.

“Giants game anyone?” James asks before snatching the remote to the T.V from Lars’ hands.

  
  


**The Forum, LA: 4 hours before Ozzfest**

Metallica, Mötley Crüe, Guns ‘N Roses, as well as Ozzy and his band all gather in the empty Forum Arena for rehearsal before opening night.

Each band took their turns going through a part of their set list as the rest sat scattered throughout the area.

“Not bad.” James leans over and whispers to Lars as they watch Guns ‘N Roses practice first, “A little high but not terrible.” 

  
  


“Think of it like Judas Priest.” Lars whispers back.

“A little too screechy for that, but they sure got the Rob Halford wardrobe.” James replies, “But Slash is killin’ it.” 

“Agreed, I’m liking the way the drums and the bass are holding down the fort.” Lars admits.

“I’m digging Stradlin’s guitar. I guess all of us rhythm guitarists are badass.” James tells Lars, who hums in agreement.

A few rows over Mötley Crüe watches intently.

“Rose sounds like shit.” Vince mumbles over to Mick.

“He sounds fine.” Mick huffs, trying not to encourage the singer to continue.

“I’m loving it!” Tommy squeals excitedly with a huge grin as he attempts to air drum along Steven.

“Tommy!” Vince tries to stop the drummers hands from miming the other drummer,” Stop encouraging the enemy.” 

“Just ‘cause you hate Axl, doesn’t mean I have to hate my new bestie.” Tommy says as he pries his hands out of Vince’s.

“New bestie huh? Have you ever talked to him?” Nikki asks.

“Sounds like Nikki is jealous.” Vince says.

“I don’t need to talk to him.” Tommy tells the bassist, “he’s a drummer, I’m a drummer. We’re destined to be friends.”

“So does that mean you and Lars are besties too?” Nikki inquires.

“Hmm.” Tommy ponders, “maybe if I buy him enough coke.”

Nikki chuckles and slings his arm around the back of Tommy’s seat.

“Hey! We talked about PDA!” Mick shouts.

“I’m not even doin’ nothin’!” Nikki yells back.

Tommy grabs Nikki by the face and places a kiss right on his lips.

“Now that’s PDA.” Nikki smirks when Tommy pulls away.

“Stop it,” Vince reprimands, “Oh and before I forget. No fucking on the tour bus again.” 

“Ugh fine.” Nikki groans.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First concert of the tour and it’s one giant cluster fuck.

The Forum, LA: 10 minutes before Ozzfest

Opening night for any tour was typically a little crazy. Opening night for Ozzfest was manically and chaotically hectic.

Ten minutes before Guns N’ Roses is set to go on, Slash passes out cold. A paramedic is called backstage to check him over. Slash was deemed severely dehydrated which caused him to pass out which then led to his mild concussion from hitting his head off of the floor.. 

After a minute or so, Slash came to. The paramedic places an IV in his arm and recommended that he sit this show out. 

Well Slash didn’t want to bitch out and screw up the entire show, so he ripped out the I.V., grabbed his guitar and walked out on stage.

By this time, it’s a half an hour past the time GNR was supposed to go on stage. A few of the audience members were getting a bit restless but were overall considerably understanding of Slash’s situation.

For the most part, the show wasn’t terrible. Sure, Slash was fatigued and played like utter shit, but the rest of the band made up for it. 

Everyone in the crowd (at least those who were sober enough to comprehend what was happening) gasped when they saw Slash begin to fall over in the middle of a solo.

He had began to feel lightheaded again so he placed his head on Axl’s shoulder. Well when Slash went down, he pulled Axl down with him.

It all happened so fast, one minute everything was fine and the next two guys were on the floor, one of them passed out cold.

After they got Axl up and Slash awake once more. Everyone agreed that it was best for Guns ‘N Roses to call it quits for the night.

They had gotten a little more than a third of the way into their set list so the fans weren’t too upset when it was cut short. 

The next band to hit the stage was Mötley Crüe. The crowd was loving it. After about half of the set list went by, a few fans rushed the stage and pushed past security. The 4 or 5 of them jumped on the stage and began singing along in the band’s microphones.

The Crüe honestly found it comical, especially when the security started chasing them around, trying to get them off the stage. They played on as the chase unraveled around them.

The fun didn’t last too long. Someone tripped over a wire, which unplugged. Then Vince’s microphone couldn’t be heard. 

After some chasing, two of the security guards had two of the intruders cornered in front of Tommy’s drums. They simultaneously dove after the invaders, but were too slow. The interlopers jumped out of the way, leaving Tommy and his drums right in the guards path. 

The two guards crashed into the drums set, denting cymbals, ripping drumheads, busting kick pedals, and knocking Tommy and his stool over, leaving him under all the rubble. 

  
  


Well this isn’t fun anymore Tommy thought to himself. Next thing he knew, Nikki threw down his bass, rushed over to the heap of broken pieces of the drum and pried S him out of the debris. 

During the interlude, people were getting irrationally enraged. So Nikki walked over to retrieve his bass from where he had ditched it earlier, but had miscalculated just how drunk he had gotten before the show started. He bent down to pick up the bass, but ended up toppling over.

Nikki was a bit embarrassed. He didn’t notice that he actually fell off of the stage until he looked up and realized he was a good 5 feet below from where his boyfriend peered down at him worriedly.

Nikki had taken worse falls and he’s had enough alcohol to be numb to his injuries for the time being. The only thing bruised that he could still feel was his ego.

Tommy asks him if he’s okay once he gets up from where he had landed. He only grumbled a small ‘fine’ and stomped over to the steps and climbed backstage, leaving his band without a bassist.

There was no use in trying to get Nikki back out there. He was ticked off and no one wanted to deal with his wrath. So the rest of the band merely waved to the crowd and followed Nikki backstage.

The crowd was angry. Not one, but two bands stopped playing their sets prematurely. Some of them were booing and some completely left.

Around 20 minutes later Metallica walked out and weren’t too sure what kind of crowd they were going to be dealing with. From the sounds of it, the crowd was pretty hostile.

Metallica sincerely hoped that they wouldn’t face the same ill fate as their tour mates. 

They started their set and shit hit the fan. A large group of men migrated towards the front. The first thing that came to the mind of the Metallica singer when he first laid eyes on them was Ku Klux Klan. Unfortunately, he wasn’t too far off. 

Some of them wore swastikas and other Neo-Nazi attire. But all of them had the same hairstyle. Buzz cut.

“Skinheads, oh boy!” Kirk thought when the group started chanting Die! Jews! Die! Jews! during the instrumental of Creeping Death. 

The rest of the crowd looked thoroughly unsettled. Jason thought it was pretty ironic since the song was about the Jews breaking out of slavery but whatever.

The rest of the show went pretty much the same. The skinheads would change the lyrics to the songs and the rest of the crowd (and Metallica) became very unsettled.

The band made it through the entire set list without jumping down and throat punching the racists. They reluctantly came back out for the encore and began playing Last Caress by the Misfits, which was a terrible idea.

For the last time the skinheads changed the lyrics from  _ I killed a baby today  _ to  _ I killed a gay today  _ and again everyone got uncomfortable and even irritated.

James and Lars looked over at Jason and then at Kirk to gage their reaction. They expected one or maybe both of them to storm off stage. What they didn’t expect was to see Kirk gracefully walk over and pull Jason in for a kiss.

The entire arena got deathly quiet, until an angry shout could be heard as one of the skinheads- who seemed to be the leader- jumped passed security (seriously these guards needed to be fired) and charged towards Kirk. 

Jason intercepted him with a punch to the jaw, which pissed off the rest of the group who barreled onto the stage. They all charged Jason at once, leaving him severely outnumbered. Having absolutely none of that James and Kirk threw down their guitars and began sucker punching their way through the group.

Then Lars came in and jumped onto one of their backs and put him into a choke hold.

Apparently there were more of them scattered around the arena who pushed past security and onto the stage.

The guards were trying and failing to separate Metallica and the skinheads. Metallica was getting their asses kicked by 15 or so skinheads. 

Mötley Crüe and Guns ‘N Roses stood backstage, watching in disbelief. 

“Fuck this, I’m not watching my heroes get killed.” Came from GNR’s drummer as he pushed his way onto the stage.

“I’m not watching our drummer get killed!” Axl yelled and ran onto the stage with the rest of Guns ‘N Roses trailing behind him. 

“My drummer besties!” Tommy hollars when both Steven and Lars get knocked to the ground. 

He grabs Nikki’s hand and drags him out onto the stage, “Come on! We love fights!” Tommy yells to his bandmates behind him.

“Ugh fine.” Vince grumbles before running towards the battle.

“I’m too old for this shit.” Mick mutters before grabbing a guitar and starts flinging at the nearest skinhead.

About 15 minutes later, the cops were hauling away the skins heads and the rockstars. All the managers were fuming when they had to bail out each of their entire bands. 

The concert had apparently ended early since no one could find Ozzy. (Supposedly he wandered off and was doing drugs with fans in the parking lot.)

The tour buses each drove to the police station to pick up their bands.

“Well that was fun!” Tommy says to Steven as they walk out to their tour buses together. 

“Hell yeah! The way you kicked that guy in the head was epic!” Steven exclaims.

“Dude that was nothing compared to when you grabbed Lars’ sticks and started beating the shit out of that guy.” Tommy compliments.

“That was some of my best work if I’m being honest.” Steven answers.

Each band begins filing onto their buses but a yell of comes from the parking lot that stops them.

“I have an announcement!” James cups his hands around his mouth and yells. “I would like to say that I was dreading this tour because I thought you guys were a bunch sissies. But after tonight I would like to say that this is going to be the best tour ever.”

The bands all cheer and clap.

“And thanks for not letting us get out asses kicked!” Lars yells as they all get onto their buses.


	3. Fortunes

13 days into Ozzfest: 

New Orleans, Louisiana 

Playing in New Orleans was always a favorite to everyone on Ozzfest. It was practically an antique version of Vegas. 

Nikki, Tommy, Duff, Izzy, and Steven all sit at a bar on Bourbon Street.

“I think I might want to go to a fortune teller.” Tommy announces to his tour mates. 

“Like reading crystal balls or some shit?” Nikki questions as he takes a swig from his beer. 

“Yeah!” Tommy exclaims loudly.

“You’re on your own T-bone.” Nikki says.

“I don’t think you have ever said that to me.” Tommy frowns, “I don’t want to go alone, she might try to put me in her oven.” 

“A witch would put you in her oven, not a fortune teller.” Izzy speaks up.

Tommy ponders that for a moment before speaking again. “How do you know?”

“I come from a long line of gypsies.” Izzy shrugs as if that explains everything.

“Cool, so you can come with me.” Tommy says.

“Why would I do that?” Izzy questions, looking appalled.

“So I don’t get turned into a Tommy Casserole.” Tommy hops from his stool and runs towards the door.

“Pay my tab, Nikki!” He calls behind him.

Nikki grumbles and flips him off.

“I’ll get your tab,” Duff says, “go, shoo!” 

“Ugh fine.” Izzy downs the rest of his beer and follows Tommy.

Izzy runs out the door and chases after Tommy who is already walking down the sidewalk.

“Slow down!” Izzy hollars after the drummer, who slows down and lets Izzy catch up to him.

“I wasn’t sure you would come.” Tommy admits but then interrupts into a fit of laughter. 

“What the hell is so funny?” Izzy asks, clearly unamused.

Tommy wipes a tear from his eye, “It’s just weird saying that to someone who isn’t Nikki.” He says before bursting into another round of laughs.

“God, you’re worse than a fuckin’ twelve year old.” Izzy says as he turns into a shop with a sign that reads  _ Madam Simone’s Fortune Readings.  _

“Wait up dude!” Tommy yells after Izzy.

When they enter the shop, they are greeted by a wave of overly strong incense and marijuana. The walls are plastered in enlarged tarot card posters. In the center of the room sits an older lady with her hands hovering over a crystal ball. A black cat greets them as they walk forward. 

_ How cliche.  _ Izzy thinks to himself.

“Have our guests arrived Maurice?” The lady asks whom Izzy and Tommy assume is the cat.

“Sit down please gentlemen.” The woman motions towards the seats surrounding the table. 

As Izzy and Tommy sit, they realise that the woman is blind, with white cataracts over her eyes. 

“I am Madam Simone, and you two must be lovers.” She says abruptly and straight to the point.

Izzy nearly chokes on his own spit, as Tommy giggles. 

“Uh no.” Izzy answers shortly.

“No? It's just you two seem awfully, oh how can I put this gently,” She pauses, “well homosexual.” 

“Well you got that right lady!” Tommy hollars, which earns him a smack on the arm from Izzy.

“What he’s trying to say is that we aren’t together but uh,” Izzy begins but doesn’t quite know if he wants to out himself to a random lady.

“But you two have partners nearby.” Madam Simon finishes.

“How did you know?” Tommy asks in utter and total disbelief.

“She’s freakin’ legit dude!” Izzy exclaims.

“You bet your tight ass I’m legit.” Madam Simon says.

“So, gay boys who aren’t gay for each other, what can I do for ya?” Simon asks after a pregnant pause.

“One fortune reading please!” Tommy exclaims enthusiastically. 

“Alrighty. Well a reading for one is $45 and $90 for the two of you.” Madam Simon tells the two.

“Nope, just for him.” Izzy points to Tommy even though Simon can’t even see them.

“What, can’t your rockstar paycheck spare 45 bucks?” She questions.

“No, now quit showing off.” Izzy says.

“Alright, alright.” Madam Simon says as she begins slowly circling her hands around the crystal ball.

“Well for starters, your bed will be filled with passion shortly after our meeting.” She begins.

“Sweet!” Tommy hollars “Who’s topping?” 

“Dude!” Izzy smacks Tommy on the back of the head. “Listen lady don’t answer that.” Izzy orders. “I don’t need to hear that.”

“Wasn’t planning on it kid.” Madam Simon replies before continuing on.

“One of your friends will get into an unexpected confrontation with their enemy.” She continues.

“Probably Axl and Vince.” Tommy mumbles.

“One of your idols will save your life.” She tells him. 

“Oh my God! Spiderman is going to save my life!” Tommy cheers loudly.

“What the actual fuck man?” Izzy asks exasperatedly. 

“And finally you’ll be on fire tonight.” She finishes.

“$45 dollars please.” She extends her hand out towards the two rockstars.

“Wait what? On fire?” Tommy questions, concerned as he fishes his wallet out of his pocket and pulls out a 50 dollar bill and then hands it to her.

“That's what I said. Bye bye gentlemen, I have poker here in fifteen minutes.” She practically kicks them out.

  
  
  


“Wait what do you mean by on fire?” Tommy asks, very concerned.

“Sorry I have no further details.” She says as she pulls a set of poker chips out of nowhere. 

“Lady please!” Tommy pleads.

“If you don’t leave, I have no qualms putting a hex on your leather bound ass.” Madam Simone snaps.

“But, but.” Tommy stammers as Izzy leads him out the front door.

“I’m gonna die tonight.” Tommy announces as he and Izzy walk back towards the bar from which they came. 

“At least you’ll get laid before hand.” Izzy sympathetically pats Tommy on the shoulder.

”Not helping!” Tommy practically cries.

“Take it easy man.She was probably just busting your balls.” Izzy tries as he fishes a cigarette from behind his ear and sticks in between his teeth.

“You sure?” Tommy asks skeptically.

“Sure, she didn’t even light any candles. How can you predict the future with no candles?” Izzy inquires, reaching into his pocket for a lighter. He goes to light the cigarette but huffs when the lighter refuses to catch.

“I sure hope you’re right man.” Tommy admits as they turn towards the bar door.

“Of course I’m right.” Izzy opens the door, “ I’m a gypsy remember.”

Again Tommy wasn’t sure what that actually meant. 

The two walked towards the back of the bar where they had left their friends. To Tommy’s surprise, only Duff and Steven remained.

“What happened to Nikki?” Tommy inquires.

“Went back to the hotel, said he bought you something and he wants you to meet him in your room.” Duff explains.

  
  


Tommy shrugs and heads off towards the hotel, which happened to be right across the street from the bar. 

Tommy was bouncing excitedly on his heels as he stood in the elevator. Nikki’s surprises were always freaking awesome and the drummer knew that this time wouldn’t be an exception.

Tommy exits the elevator on the appropriate floor and practically skips down the halls towards his room. He stops at the door with the corresponding number on it as the key card that he pulls out of his back pocket and sticks it into the card slot.

When he tentatively pushes the heavy door open, Tommy is hit with the smell of cigarettes and whiskey flooding his senses.  Closing the door behind him, he is met with a glorious site. Nikki. Laying on his bed. In lace panties. Tommy was pretty sure he was drooling. With no further comment, Tommy runs towards the bed, kicking his clothes off along the way.

—

Later on that evening every band was in their respective dressing room, getting ready for the show. Guns ‘N Roses lazily lounged around the dressing room, waiting for the signal to go on stage. All of sudden Vince busts into the room with a distressed Tommy desperately trying to pull him back.

Tommy is pretty sloshed so he really has a really tough time restraining Vince, so it wasn’t long until Vince brakes free from Tommy’s hold and strides over to Axl’s and socks him in the jaw.

Tommy dives and tackles Vince as Nikki runs in and helps Tommy restrain Vince as Slash and Izzy restrain Axl.

“This isn’t over Neil! Meet me after the show asshole!” Axl spews as he flails desperately. 

Tommy and Nikki escort Vince out of the room and back into their own dressing room.

”I guess there’s the unexpected confrontation.” Tommy mumbles to himself 

Back in GNRs dressing room, Axl is released from Izzy and Slash’s hold.

“What the hell was that about?” Duff inquires from the other side of the room.

“The prick thinks I fucked the bitch he wanted.” Axl smooths down his clothes.

“Did you?” Steven asks.

Axl shrugs with a smirk, “It’s possible.”

The rest of the band just laugh and shake their heads in disbelief.

—

After the show is over Tommy and Nikki walk back to the dressing room, when they hear a rummaging in the closet next to the dressing rooms. 

Curious, Tommy cautiously opens the door, afraid of what the closet holds. Nikki looks a bit nervous as the door creaks. 

He opens it and they find something they never thought they would see in a million years. Something they never wanted to see in a million years.

Vince and Axl pawing at each other and battling for dominance in a harsh kiss. Quickly closing the door, Nikki and Tommy look at each for a moment before dramatically gaging. 

“That has to be the nastiest thing I have ever seen!” Tommy shrieks.

“Never thought I would live to see the day that those two would be in the same room without fighting. Let alone full-on making out.” Nikki visibly shutters.

“Why was it so violent?” Tommy asks as they walk over to the dressing room.

“I dunno, maybe a control thing.” Nikki shrugs.

—

Too tired to party but too energetic to sleep, everyone decides to unwind at the casino across from their hotel.

“If I beat you on our first hand, you owe me.” Nikki whispers to Tommy as they wait to cross the street.

“You’re on babe.” Tommy challenges as he walks out into the intersection.

All of sudden, Tommy is pushed to the ground on the side of the road as a motorcycle goes flashing by.

“What the fuck?” Tommy yells.

“You alright there man?” Comes from a voice with an extended hand, Tommy assumes is the man who pushed him out of the way.

“Yeah. Thanks for the shove.” Tommy takes the hand and stands up.

Tommy looks at his savior and it clicks. It’s fucking Bill Ward, his literal drumming hero.

“Oh my God! You’re Bill fucking Ward!” Tommy exclaims in disbelief.

Then Nikki comes running over to them. “Oh thank God you’re okay!” 

“Yeah thanks to Bill Fucking Ward.” Tommy motions towards his rescuer.

“No way man!” Nikki exclaims loudly.

“Yes way.” Bill answers before walking off.

“He is my literal idol.” Tommy says to no one in particular.

“Wait, my idol saved me.” Tommy starts to panic.

“Why do you sound so upset?” Nikki inquires.

“It’s all coming true.” Tommy grimaces.

“What is? What’s all coming true Tommy?” The bassist asks, worriedly.

“The fortunes!” Tommy cries, “First she said right after my appointment with her that my bed would be full of passion. And next thing I know we’re taking a tumble in the sheets.”

“So?” Nikki sounds a bit skeptical, Tommy supposes that he would be too.

“Then it said one of my friends would have an unexpected confrontation with their enemy.” Tommy says. “We found Vince with Axl!” 

“And now this! She said my idol will save my life. And then bam! Bill Ward becomes my knight in shining armor.” Tommy groans.

“Well what else did she tell you?” Nikki begins to understand why Tommy is so freaked.

“That I will be on fire.” Tommy whines.

“She said what?” Nikki screeches, fear and panic seeping into his tone.

“I need to go to the store!” Tommy yells, before waving down a taxi.

—

After cautiously trekking through the grocery store, and dodging everything that Tommy deemed “fire-y”, Nikki and Tommy stand at the cash register.

The cashier eyes them suspiciously as she scans the various items. A fire extinguisher, a gallon of water, oven mitts, and heavy duty goggles.

Tommy laughs nervously, “You can never be too careful with those pyromaniacs running  around.” 

The cashier doesn’t answer him, instead just bags his odd purchases and rings him up.

—

“Is all that necessary?” Nikki asks as he and Tommy walk into the casino to meet the others.

“Totally.” Tommy answers fully clad in all his purchases. Oven mitts on his hands, goggles shielding his eyes, the water in one hand and the fire extinguisher in the other.

As they walk around the casino, Nikki tries to light a cigarette. Tommy being the paranoid dude that he is, yelps and runs away from the flame of the lighter. Nikki sighs and lets the flame die before chasing after the drummer.

“There you guys are!” Vince exclaims when he sees his bandmate walk pass his poker game.

“Come play guys.” Mick invites from across the table.

  
  


Nikki happily sits and the dealer passes out the hand. Cautiously, Tommy sits as well, setting the extinguisher and water jug on the floor beside his feet.

Well Tommy won that hand. And the next. And the next. And even the one after that.

“Damn Tommy, you’re on fire tonight!” Vince complements.

“Oh, that’s what she meant.” Tommy realizes.

“See, you were worried about nothing.” Nikki smiles warmly.

“I guess so.” Tommy says as he takes off the mitts and peels the goggles from his eyes.

  
  
  



	4. Avenging

Nikki sat in his room alone, watching some cheesy horror movie on the hotel’s grainy T.V. 

Tommy and a few other guys went down to the hotel bar to unwind after a show.

Nikki watches the movie halfheartedly. The movie was basic, it followed the same cliches and tropes as the other shitty horror movies he’d seen. Nikki barely resists the urge to roll his eyes. It was so predictable that it made him chuckle. As the final protagonist gets chased by the axe wielding maniac, the phone on the nightstand rings. 

Without taking his eyes off of the screen, Nikki reaches over and answers the phone, “This is Nikki.” 

“Hey Nikki, it's Slash. Tommy’s down here at the bar and he’s acting weird. He looks like he’s about to pass out. I think you should get down here.” Slash says over the line.

“I’ll be down in a second.” Nikki tells Slash before hanging up the phone.

Nikki was perplexed. It was only 10:00 at night and Tommy was already blackout drunk? That didn’t make sense. Tommy was no lightweight and he had told Nikki before he went down that he wasn’t doing anything too crazy that night. So Nikki knew there was no way he was that drunk.

Nikki sighs and puts on some pants and his boots as he makes his way down the hallway and waits for the elevator. As he waits, Izzy comes down the hall and stands next to him. They both get into the elevator without a word. They ride down quietly until Nikki breaks the silence, “I thought you said you were staying in your room tonight.”

Izzy shrugs,” I thought you were too.”

“Got a call from Slash, said I gotta come collect my idiot.” Nikki says as the elevator comes to the stop and they step out.

“Same here.” Izzy admits as they turn towards the bar.

Nikki struggles to get Tommy out of his seat in the back of the bar. It takes them a total of twenty minutes to get back up to Nikki’s room. Tommy falls over a total of 8 times and takes Nikki down with him each time. 

Nikki would feel a bit shitty that it took him that long to get back to his room, but felt a little better when he realises Izzy hasn’t come up with Duff yet.

Nikki props Tommy up against the wall beside him, as he fishes around in his pocket for his key card. Tommy falls over without the support of Nikki’s body keeping him upright. As Nikki collects his half conscious boyfriend from the floor, Izzy comes down the hall with Duff looking just as bad as Tommy.

“Damn it,” Izzy grumbles, “Ozzy really needs to lock his shit up and keep it from the kids.” 

“Who you callin’ kid?” Duff slurs, barely audible.

“You, asshole!” Izzy scowls at his highly intoxicated boyfriend.

“Shit, did Duff get into Ozzy’s stash too?” Nikki questions from his respective door way.

“Yup,” Izzy pops the P at the end before attempting to open his door with one hand as the other one desperately tries to keep Duff standing

  
  
  


“It was a” _hiccup_ ,” accident.” Duff tells everyone, “we didn’t know”

Nikki walks Tommy into the room and gently lies him on the bed, taking off his boots and leather pants as Tommy dips in and out of consciousness. Nikki goes to get a wet rag from the bathroom to wipe the sweat from Tommy’s face but Tommy grabs his arm preventing him from leaving.

“Don’t leave me. Please!” Tommy all but slurs.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Nikki grumbles as he attempts to pry Tommy off of himself.

“Everyone leaves me.” Tommy begins to tear up when Nikki finally breaks from his grasp.

“I’m not leaving you.” Nikki sits back down on the wrinkled blanket.

“No, it’s fine.” Tommy begins to tear up. “I get it, I’m unbearable and unloveable. There’s a reason why everyone leaves. It was only just a matter of time before you did too.” 

Nikki was surprised he got all that out without slurring, but that didn’t stop him from raising his voice.

“Shut your mouth!” Nikki spouts angirly, “Just because you’ve trusted some shitty people to rely on and they left isn’t your fault. I may not be the best person, but I won’t ever leave you high and dry. Got that?” 

Tommy nods his head sadly, as if Nikki had just yelled at him for doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. Nikki holds his arms open and waits for the drummer to enter his embrace. They hold on to each other for a few moments before a loud banging on the door rings throughout the room, startling both of them. 

“Open up Tommy!” the voice from the other side of the door yells, Nikki groans. He knew exactly who was on the other side of the door. Some ugly ass roadie named Vick who has a thing for Tommy and possibly Duff. At first Nikki thought it was kind of comical. The guy seriously reminded him of Quazi Modo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Sure the guy wasn’t actually deformed nor did he have a hunched back, but good God was he ugly. But, after a while the guy started to get a bit handsy with Tommy when the drummer got high or drunk and it pissed Nikki off. 

“I’ve got more candy for ya!” Vick hollars. 

Nikki furrowed his brow at the last part. More candy? Oh, Vick meant cocaine. Damn it! Ozzy didn’t leave his stash out, Vick gave Tommy something to make him like this. It didn’t make sense, coke doesn’t make Tommy crash like this, so Vick must’ve given him something else. Nikki knew he couldn’t be mad at Tommy for doing some drugs. Just because he had told extension everyone on tour to keep the drugs away from him during the tour didn’t mean that request extended to Tommy as well. 

“Go away Vick! He’s already fucked up enough.” Nikki shouts angrily at the heavy hotel door.

Nikki looks down at Tommy in his arms, unsurprised that his eyes slipped closed. His heart quickens slightly when he notices that he can’t see the distinct rise and fall of Tommy’s chest, indicating his breathing. Nikki moves his head to Tommy’s chest to listen for his heartbeat and sighs in relief when he can hear the quickened pace of the drummer’s heart thumping in his ribcage.

“Don’t be such a pussy!” Vick shouts as he continues to hammer on the door. 

“Bye Vick!” Nikki yells as he situates Tommy in the bed, pulling the crinkled duvet and sheets over the younger’s sleeping form. 

“Come on Nikki,” Vick tries, “Let the kid live a little, just ‘cause you’ve made a stupid desision to stay sober this tour doesn’t mean you have to drag him down with ya! Plus if you let him come out, I promise to not ruin him too much if you know what I mean.” Vick adds crudely. 

“You touch him in any way that isn’t strictly professionally appropriate, I swear to God I will kill you.” Nikki spouts violently.

“Easy there tiger, no need to be possessive. He’s a big boy, a pretty one I might add, who can make the decisions on his own. And who he wants to spend his night with is not your concern.” Vick says calmly, the complete opposite of how Nikki feels, who is boiling over with rage.

“Get the hell away from the door, or I will have no qualms about calling Sharon Osbourne’s room and having her fire you right here, right now.” Nikki just barely manages to not to let his voice waver in anger. 

“Okay, okay I’m leaving” Vick says, “But tell Tommy that Vicky just bought more bump and is willing to share at a price!” 

Nikki wanted to gag, did that creep just call himself Vicky? No one called him that and he was pretty sure Vick was trying to make his name sound like Nikki’s. Fucking weirdo. 

Tommy begins to stir a little. He whimpers quietly as he blindly reaches out, patting the bed for something. He continues until Nikki says something.

“What’s the matter?” Nikki questions as he climbs up to the top of the bed, letting Tommy’s hand find his torso.

Tommy opens his eyes slowly and peaks at Nikki. He looks thoroughly distraught and Nikki’s heart clenches.

“Thought you left.” Tommy sticks his bottom lip out in a pout, making him look like a kicked puppy.

Nikki gathers the drummer in his arms and nuzzles his hair. 

“Told you I wasn’t leaving. I just had to deal with an asshole at the door.” Nikki mumbles softly as he stroke’s Tommy’s hair.

“Who?” Tommy asks as he brings his hand up to wrap around Nikki’s waist.

“Vick.” Nikki grumbles, trying to keep the venom out of his tone.

“I think he might’ve put something in my drink, Nikki.” Tommy admits sluggishly as he snuggles into Nikki farther.

Nikki tenses and tries not to spring up from the bed and march to Vick’s room and beat him until he chokes on his own blood.

“What do you mean T?” Nikki tries to ask as softly as he can possibly muster.

“Well,” Tommy begins, “I was down at the bar with Vince, Slash, Duff, and James.” He pauses momentarily and Nikki waits patiently for him to continue.

“And Vick was assigned to keep an eye on us, you know so we didn’t get into too much trouble.” Tommy tells Nikki somberly.

Tommy shifts over slightly, away from Nikki’s chest like a cowering animal at the feet of its predator. He stares blankly over Nikki’s shoulder and his eyes begin to glass over. 

“Then what?” Nikki gently encourages, caressing Tommy’s cheek with the back of his knuckles.

“Well me and Duff hung out together most of the time, and we both were drinking. Our bottles were empty and we were about to go to the bar for refills.” Tommy swallows, “I offered to get refills, but Vick came over and said he would take care of it. He came back a few minutes later with drinks and neither me or Duff thought anything of it.”

Tommy begins to chew on his lip nervously and his hands begin to tremble. “I don’t remember much, but I think Slash called you and Izzy to come get us and then I woke up here in bed.” 

Nikki became outraged, that desperate prick spiked Duff and Tommy’s drinks. Trying to keep the anger from his voice, Nikki spoke softly, “I’ll be right back okay? I need to talk to Izzy.” 

Tommy nods his head slightly as he brings the blanket around his shoulders. 

Nikki stands from the bed and places a few items in the empty spot on the bed. “Here’s water and the trash can. I’ll be back in a minute.” Nikki kisses Tommy on the forehead and walks over across the hall and a few doors down to Izzy’s room.

Nikki urgently pounds on the door, not caring how loud it echoes through the empty hallway. 

“If you don’t fuck off Vick, I will strangle you with my guitar strings.” Izzy shouts angrily through the door.

“Iz, it’s Nikki. Open up it’s important.” Nikki yells right back.

A few moments go by and Nikki thinks Izzy is ignoring him, he reaches to knock on the door again when it swings open. An exhausted and slightly ticked off Izzy stands at the door.

“What?” Izzy grumbles.

“We need to talk.” Nikki begins, trying not to snap.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow? Duff threw up and it's in his hair so I gotta get that cleaned up.” 

“I think Vick spiked Duff and Tommy’s drinks down at the bar.” Nikki admits.

Izzy tenses and looks like he is about to go crazy. His eyes get dark and his jaw clenches tightly. “You’ve gotta be shitting me. How did you find out?”

“Tommy told me that he brought him and Duff drinks, and after that he doesn’t remember a thing.” Nikki tells the guitarist.

“That motherfucker! I’m gonna kill him.” Izzy rages.

“You and me both. So we can either go to Sharon and Ozzy’s room right now and get him fired and possibly arrested. Or we can beat the ever living fuck out of that good for nothing asshole and then rat him out to Sharon.” Nikki proposes.

“I think I like option two.” Izzy admits.

“Then let's do it.” Nikki grins wickedly. 

Nikki and Izzy stalk down to the end of the hallway, where all the security and roadies stay. 

“You know what room number he’s in?” Izzy asks as they stand in the middle of the hallway.

“I guess we’re about to find out.” Nikki knocks on the nearest door.

A few moments later, Gary, the head of security, answers the door. 

“Boys?” Gary yawns.

“Oops, sorry Gare Bear. Wrong room.” Izzy chuckles. 

Gary shakes his head and teasingly rolls his eyes. “Behave yourselves.” 

“Aye aye!” Nikki says before Gary closes the door.

“Next!” Izzy says as he thumps against the door beside Gary’s. 

The room didn’t belong to Vick and neither did the next 3. Each time Izzy and Nikki were met with a sleepy security guard. They apologized and claimed they had the wrong room, before moving on to the next.

Nikki bangs on the door, praying that this one was Vick’s. Quickly the door opens and Vick stands at the door in nothing but a thong.

Nikki wanted to vomit and Izzy seriously considered bleaching his eyes. 

“Not the two boys I thought. I was hoping for Tommy and Duff. But you two will do just fine.” Vick smiles wickedly, showing off his yellow teeth.

Before Vick knew it, Izzy threw a right hook, causing the roadie to stubble backwards into his room.

“What the hell?” Vick asks as he grabs his jaw.

Instead of answering both Nikki and Izzy follow Vick into his room. Nikki deals out the next punch to Vick’s ribs, and grins triumphantly when he hears bone snap. The two musicians go back and forth dishing out punches and kicks to avenge their boyfriends. When Vick lays on the ground bloody and rolling around on the floor in pain Nikki goes to punch him again but Izzy’s hand grabs his arm, stopping him from delivering the blow.

“If we don’t stop now, we never will. Not until he’s dead.” Izzy pulls Nikki back towards the door. “Come on let's go see Sharon.”

The two walk down to the other end of the hallway to the Osbourne’s room with bloodied knuckles.

They both gently rap against the door and wait. A half naked Ozzy answers the door.

“What the bloody hell do you two want?” Ozzy squints at the two, trying to get his eyesight to adjust to the bright lights in the hallway.

“We need to talk to Sharon.” Izzy answers.

“Alright, alright I’ll get ‘er.” Ozzy turns around, “She’s going to be angry.” Ozzy warns before he goes to fetch Sharon.

A few minutes later, Sharon comes out with sleep-tousled hair as she wraps a robe around herself. 

“What?” She spits impatiently.

“We beat the fuck out of Vick and he needs to be fired.” Nikki spills.

“You did what?” Sharon shouts angrily, “You beat up a roadie and you want me to fire him?” 

“It was for a good reason.” Izzy tries.

“And what would that be?” Sharon asks.

“He slipped drugs into Duff and Tommy’s drinks.” Izzy explains.

“You two better be joking.” Sharon kneads at her forehead. 

“I wish we were.” Nikki admits.

“Are those two alright?” Sharon questions, “Do they need to be taken to the hospital?”

“I think Duff will be fine.” Izzy tells her.

“Tommy too.” Nikki says.

“Go back to your rooms, I’ll take care of Vick. Don’t be alarmed if the police come to your door, ‘cause I’m calling them now to haul this prick away.” Sharon turns on her heel and shuts the door in their faces.

“Nice doing avenging with ya!” Izzy shakes Nikki’s hand before they retire to their rooms.

“Same here.” Nikki says before opening his door and walking in.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Speedos

**30 Miles Outside of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. 46 Days Into Ozzfest**

After the firing of the roady, Vick, everyone was reasonably uneasy. Sharon and others in charge of the tour were scrambling to find a replacement, while dealing with the legal aspects of the situation at hand. The rest of the roadie’s and security were under close watch to avoid a repeat, which made them uncomfortable. No one could blame them for being a little restless, Sharon Osborne wasn’t someone to mess around with and if she was keeping a close eye on you, you should be scared. 

Not only were the management and security stressed, the rockers were too. Typically, they were banned from being too crazy, but the security usually let them get away with just about anything as long as they stayed within screaming distance. Now, security was too afraid to be lenient or let the musicians roam free. If Sharon caught any of the guards not doing their jobs, they would be fired and sent home on a plane faster than you could say Ozzfest. 

So, with no illegal drugs and no parties, every rockstar was bored out of their mind and antsy to have some fun. 

“So bored,”James complains, “not gonna make it.” He drapes himself on the tour bus’s living room couch with a dramatic sigh.

Lars reaches over from his spot on the couch next to him and pats him sympathetically on the head. 

“I agree with James, I think I’d rather die than sit on this fuckin’ bus any longer.” Lars tells his band mates. 

“Somehow, I think you two will survive.” Kirk mumbles, not looking up from his Classic Horror Monster magazine. 

“How do they expect us to survive on this treacherous bus for days?” James whines, looking up at the ceiling.

“Why don’t you do something productive and write some lyrics?” Kirk suggests, still not taking his eyes away from his magazine. 

“That’s no fun! We need excitement.” Lars flails his arms around dramatically, as if his ridiculous antics would get him anywhere. 

“Well some would argue that writing music is fun.” Kirk flips the page and closely inspects the next picture, turning it each way to see it from a different view. 

“No!” James and Lars cry in unison.

“ I need booze!” James exclaims.

“Yeah booze!” Lars agrees.

“Chicks!” James continues.

“Chicks!” Lars enthusiastically repeats.

“The beach!” James explains.

“The beach” Lars loudly copies. 

“Loud Music!”

“Of course! Loud music!” 

“And Explosives!”

“And explos- wait what?” Lars asks confused, “What’s the matter you?”

“It was just a thought.” James admits, embarrassed. 

“No wonder we aren’t allowed off this damn bus.” Jason mutters to himself.

Only Kirk hears him fully, who smirks at the comment. 

“You say something?” James asks, getting up from the couch to stand his full height, trying to make himself look intimidating 

“Uh oh!” Jason springs up from his seat. “Only kidding!” He puts his hands up in surrender.

“I’m just messin’ with ya!” James smiles unsettlingly and smacks Jason on the shoulder before sitting back on the couch. 

Jason lets out a sigh of relief as Kirk just rolls his eyes .

“No wonder Cliff left.” Mumbles Kirk.

“What’s that supposed to mean?’ James asks defensively.

“Nothing.” Kirk answers, uninterested. 

“Tell me.”

“Don’t worry about it, James.”

“Come on.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Please?” 

“Jesus H Christ! Would you two shut the fuck up?” Their manager, Larry, yells from the front of the bus.

“Sorry,” Both James and Kirk mumble, like two school kids being scolded by their teacher.

“If you guys keep it down back there, I’ll talk to the other managers and see if we stop at a beach or something.” Larry promises.

“Deal!” The four members of Metallica agree in unison.

—

About 45 minutes later, the tour buses pull into a parking lot. Each door of the buses open and the bands pour out. 

“Fort Lauderdale Beach.” Tommy reads from the sign at the sand line. 

“Wow kid, didn’t know you could read.” Mick teases, but with a straight face Tommy isn’t sure if he’s joking or not.

Vince turns to their bus driver, Stan and asks, “How far to the Doll House?” 

“No strip clubs Vincent.” Sharon reprimands the singer.

“Argh, come on!” Vince pouts.

“Why don’t you gentlemen get changed into more,” Sharon pauses looking at the bands, “beach appropriate attire.”

“I guess jeans and leather aren’t ocean wear.” Slash sighs and the bands climb back on the bus to change and come filling out a few minutes later.

“Twins!” Duff and Tommy high-five when they notice they are wearing matching neon pink speedos that say “DADDY’S” in big black lettering across the back.

  
  


“You know,” Nikki places a hand on Izzy’s shoulder, “I always thought me and Tommy were the terror twins, always getting into things we weren’t supposed to. But I think he’s met his real twin.” Nikki nods towards Tommy and Duff who were running manically towards the water.

“Oh God, does that mean I’m your real twin?” Izzy asks, concerned.

“I’m afraid so pal.” Nikki pats Izzy on the shoulder before walking towards the beach.

Some musicians begin laying out chairs and beach towels, while others (Tommy and Duff) childishly splash around in the water. 

Izzy and Nikki end up next to each other as they both stare fondly at their respective boyfriend. 

“They really are idiots, aren’t they?” Izzy asks.

“Big time.” Nikki answers with a smile. 

—

When setting out his chair, Slash knew that the only way he was going to relax at all was if he sat either alone (which was hard on a crowded beach) or by someone quiet. Well the only person on that tour that was close to quiet was Mick.

“I always thought that we were something original.” Slash breaks the silence after a little while.

“Doesn’t everybody?” Mick asks.

Slash shrugs his shoulders silently. 

“What makes you think you aren’t?” Mick asks.

“Lookin’ at your fuckin’ band.” Slash admits.

“How are we anything like you guys?” Mick questions.

“Well for starters, we both have kickass lead guitarists.” Slash begins which gets a slight smile out of Mick.

“That we do.” The older guitarist agrees.

“We both got children for drummers.” Slash continues.

“Yeah, but you guys have two children in your band, luckily we only got one.” Mick interrupts.

Slash sighs, “Very true.”

“But hey! One of my children is best friends with yours!,” Slash remembers, “And those children are dating the moody, mysterious, bad-boys of the band.”

“Ha,” Mick laughs, “You’re makin’ Nikki and Izzy sounds like fucking vampires from those teeny bopper movies.’

“They definitely could be.” Slash agrees

“And to top it all off,” Mick starts, “We have pompous peacocks as lead singers.” 

“I don’t think I have ever heard such an accurate description of Axl in my life.” Slash admits as both him and Mick begin cracking up.

—

Izzy and Nikki found themselves bounding over more than just having idiots for boyfriends. They found out they both hate everyone, except for those idiot boyfriends. They both had little stunts with heroin, but plan to steer clear of drugs during the tour. They both come from states starting with I (they weren’t really sure why that mattered, but it did.) Most of all they found themselves bonding over their love of the classics. From Deep Purple to T-Rex, Izzy and Nikki went on and on about their favorite albums.

The sun was starting to set as Nikki told Izzy the story of how he threatened to kill his mom when she turned off his record when he was a child. They laughed so hard they had tears in their eyes. Everything was great, until out of the corner of Nikki’s eye he sees something bright pink being waved around in the air.

“What the-“ Nikki cuts himself off when he realizes what it is. Tommy’s speedo, being tossed about in the air.

“Oh my God.” Izzy splutters, nearly choking on his beer, when he realizes that Duff has just thrown his speedo towards shore.

“Great!” Nikki deadpans sarcastically, “now they’re naked.” 

“Thomas Lee Bass! You better put that atrocious swimsuit back on your pasty ass or so help me God!” Nikki yells out into the ocean toward his naked boyfriend.

“You know fully well that my ass is thoroughly tanned.” Tommy yells back cheekily .

“Tommy, you’re going to get arrested for indecent exposure. Again!” Nikki hollers. 

“You’re gonna have to come and get me.” Tommy squeals, as he swims further into the ocean.

“Ugh!” Nikki huffs as he hastily tears his shirt over his head and throws it onto his lounge chair. 

“You comin’?” Nikki turns to ask Izzy.

Izzy shrugs half heartedly before downing the rest of his beer. He stands up as well and sheds his top.

“Make sure your moron stays on that,” Izzy jesters to the left, “side. I don’t want to touch his junk by mistake.” 

“I’ll try my best.” Nikki says, “You hear that T? Stay to the left, Izzy doesn’t wanna be anywhere near your dick.” Nikki hollars over the sound of the waves rolling as he steps past the shore line.

The cold water sends a shock through Nikki’s body and tries to make his teeth refrain from chattering. 

“Yeah!” Tommy yells back, “Only you want to touch my dick.” Tommy waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Nikki rolls his eyes as he continues his descent into the water.

“No P.D.A.!” Vince shouts from the sand.

“You see Tommy? Vince says no P.D.A. Sorry, but you’re gonna have to put the speedo back on.” Nikki says when he’s about 10 yards away from Tommy.

“Good thing Vince isn’t the boss of me.” Tommy sing-songs.

“Put on the swim suit, Tommy!.” Nikki exclaims, beginning to get mildly frustrated.

Tommy ponders this for a moment before speaking again, “I’ll make you a deal,” the drummer begins.

“I’m listening.” Nikki says as he begins to tread water.

“You give me a little,” he pauses, “shall we say sneak peak? And then I’ll put my suit back on.” 

Nikki rolls his eyes with a loud sigh, “Fine.” He huffs before swimming in Tommy’s direction. 

When he gets close enough Nikki asks, “you sure this is the only way?”

“Positive.” Tommy answers immediately.

Nikki hesitates before going for his shorts. He grips onto the waistband and peers around himself to check no one is looking. Everyone on shore was occupied by a volleyball game going on, and Izzy was too busy trying to convince Duff to put his speedo back on. 

“Here goes nothing.” Nikki mumbles under his breath before tugging his trunks to his thighs.

Tommy takes a moment to inspect. “Mhm. Very nice.” He begins feeling around in the crystal clear water. “Oh, very nice.” He smirks when he finds what he was looking for.

With a strangled off moan, Nikki tries to speak, “You said looking, no touching.” Nikki reluctantly pulls away from Tommy’s wandering hand.

Tommy huffs, “Fine, be boring.” Tommy begins putting his speedo back on as Nikki pulls his swimsuit back up to his waist. 

Tommy begins swimming back to shore. “I’m gonna need payment on the bus later for complying.” He calls back to Nikki.

“No!” Vince yells, overhearing the last part of their conversation. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want to see the guys in any specific city. I’m not sure which cities I want the story to take place in and suggestions would be very helpful! 
> 
> Thank you for the kind comments, they are appreciated. Comments inspire me to write, so if you have any thoughts, questions, or concerns drop them below and just add something to let me know if you want me to respond to your comment, I would be happy to answer!


	6. County Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if there are any grammatical errors, this is un-beta’d so there are bound to be a few.

A problem had occurred at the bands’ next venue. Apparently there were some sort of riots right outside and the building suffered tremendously, causing the show to be delayed a day.

“Since we have today off, I have decided to gift you gentlemen with tickets to the local county fair.” Sharon announces to the bands as they lazily lounge around the hotel bar. 

“Wow Sharon, you shouldn’t have.” Lars speaks up from the end of the bar, sarcastically. 

“Listen you little Danish prick, I was being generous so learn some manner you little troll.” Sharon fires back before turning on her heel. 

“If you’re interested in going, get the tickets from Gary.” She calls over her shoulder but stops when she remember that she didn’t mention something, “Oh and you either go to the fair or retire for the day in your room.” Sharon adds before exiting the bar.

“That’s no fair!” Vince whines, but Sharon is already gone and his complaints goes unnoticed.

“Ugh, I don’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of cowboys.” Vince rolls his eyes. 

—

Everyone except Ozzy and his band decide to check this fair out. It was being held only about 3 blocks from the hotel so everyone decides to walk there. 

When the pack arrives, the 13 or so rockstars stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone around them dress in cowboy hats, large belt buckles, and shin-high cowboy boots. The other fair goers eye them strangely, but never say anything. The bands realize that no one seems to recognize them and its a blessing. No photos, no autographs, and no idol worshipping. 

Once they walk through the front gate and under the rusty sign welcoming them to the annual Dallas County Fair, the rockers pretty much separate in each direction. 

Tommy grabs Nikki by the hand and runs towards the Ferris Wheel. Nikki attempts to dig the heels of his boots into the gravel, trying to slow Tommy down. It doesn’t work the way he planned.

“Quit doing that, you’re slowing us down!” Tommy yells over his shoulder back at Nikki.

“That’s the whole point dufus.” Nikki retorts as his heel catches a rather large rock and slows them down to a stop.

“What’s the matter?” Tommy turns to ask Nikki. His face pointed and his brow furrowed as if he couldn’t fathom any idea why Nikki wasn’t just as enthusiastic as he was. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid!” 

Tommy giggles and Nikki ducks his head to avoid Tommy’s gaze. “Oh my God, you are, aren’t you?” Tommy laughs in disbelief.

Nikki’s face turns bright red, he’s ashamed. “Stop laughing.” 

“It’s funny.” Tommy pretends to wipe a tear from his eye, “Big bad Nikki Sixx is afraid of a carnival ride.” 

Slightly pissed and extremely embarrassed, Nikki

turns on his heel and walks back towards the exit.

Tommy runs after him, grabbing him by the arm to slow him down. “I’m sorry, okay.”

Nikki turns around with the force of Tommy’s pull and looks the drummer in the eye. Tommy huffs when he can’t see Nikki’s eyes from behind the bassist’s overgrown bangs. He reaches out to brush them to the side and then lets his hand rest on Nikki’s cheek. 

“You’re a dick.” Nikki swats Tommy’s hand from his cheek.

“I know, but you love me.” Tommy answers.

“Barely.” Nikki mumbles under his breath.

Tommy hears the comment and makes a pained sound. “Ouch Nik, that hurt.”

“Oops, you weren’t supposed to hear that.” Nikki admits.

Tommy shakes his head with a playful eye roll. “So you aren’t coming on with me?”

Nikki looks up at the rickety Ferris Wheel and visibly gulps. 

Nikki shoves his hands into the pockets of his pants and rocks on his heels. “Nope.” Nikki pops the p.

“Well then I guess I’ll just have to ask Mr.Cowboy over there to accompany me.” Tommy nods over to a man standing by the cotton candy stand. The man stares hungrily at Tommy and winks in his direction when he notices Tommy looking back at him.

Nikki looks over and his face hardens from unease to jealousy in a matter of milliseconds. Nikki straightens his back ramrod straight and squares his shoulders (someone had once told him that it made him seem more intimidating). He scowls at the man and grabs Tommy by the hand. 

“Nikki? I was just kidding babe. If you’re uncomfortable riding, I’ll just ride with Duff or something later.” Tommy says as Nikki drags him to the line for the Ferris Wheel.

Nikki keeps a stern demeanor as the pair wait in line. “No.” Is all that Nikki says in reply.

After a five minute wait, Nikki and Tommy are being strapped into their car. The operator latches the gate closed in front of them as the two men squish together. Both being over six foot made it hard to sit comfortably. Their knees strain against the gate and they have little to no wiggle room. After they settle, the operator goes back to his panel and flips the ride back on. 

Nikki and Tommy’s car slowly begins to ascend, but stops when they’re only about 30 feet up. 

Tommy can see Nikki begin to panic. “Why did we stop?”

“Chill babe, they’re just letting new people on.” Tommy tries to calm Nikki and reaches an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders.

After a minute or so, the ride begins moving again. The two ride higher and higher, until they’re situated on the highest point. 

The ride stops once more and Nikki groans loudly and throws his head back, “Fuck me!” 

“Maybe later.” Tommy throws back, cheekily. 

Nikki rolls his eyes and looks down to the ground. Well shit. That was a terrible idea. He inhales shakily as he hears Tony sigh contently. 

“Look how pretty it is from up here.” Tommy whispers into Nikki’s ear as if it were some secret that he can see such a view.

Nikki quickly tears his gaze from the ground below and looks up at Tommy. Tommy was right, the view was beautiful, but Nikki thinks they’re admiring two different sights. Nikki smiles as he feels his heart flutter in his chest. Tommy looks heavenly as the setting sun casts a beautiful orange glow on Tommy’s face. The evening air blows through Tommy’s long hair and Nikki itches to run his hands in it. So he does.

Tommy startles a little when he feels Nikki’s hand. “What’s that for?” 

“You look really pretty.” Nikki smiles.

Tommy wasn’t sure how to feel about being called pretty. Sure Nikki told him he was hot on the regular basis and his mother had always commented that he was quite handsome. But pretty? Never was that directed towards him in a serious manner. 

Tommy couldn’t find it in himself to be offended or even bothered by it. He often thought Nikki looked pretty when doing certain things, but felt it would’ve been weird to admit it. 

Tommy smiles back and enjoys the rest of the ride with Nikki’s hand in his hair. The ride continues and soon Nikki and Tommy find themselves back at the bottom. The operator goes to undo the latch and Tommy begins to unbuckle them. They both found it strange that they only got to go around once, but didn’t find it necessary to complain.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Tommy reaches and grasps Nikki’s hand in his own. 

“I was distracted, so I guess I didn’t have much time to think about my impending doom for when that cheap and unstable death trap dropped us 100 feet from the air.” Nikki says.

Tommy chuckles and gives Nikki a playful nudge with his own shoulder. “You liked it.”

“Maybe a little.” Nikki smiles as they walk towards another ride.

—

A little ways over on the fairground stood Izzy and Duff. 

“You are so going down!” Duff hollars over the game's music. 

Duff and Izzy sit side by side on stools, each pointing water guns towards an orange target with a black dot in the middle. 

“In your dreams, babe!” Izzy yells back as his balloon begins to swell.

Duff squeals and shoves Izzy in the shoulder, causing his water stream to be knocked off course.

“You dick!” Izzy huffs.

With the interruption, Duff’s balloon begins filling up faster than Izzy’s until it finally pops.

Duff throws his hands up triumphantly, “Yes! Take that, bitch!” 

“You’re such a cheater.” Izzy tells Duff with a grimace.

The game operator asks Duff which prize he wants and Duff nods towards his choice. The operator hands it to him over the booth’s counter. 

“All is fair in carnival games.” Duff explains as they walk away.

“Asshole.” Izzy grumbles.

“Aww don’t be a sore loser,” Duff wraps an arm around Izzy’s shoulders.

“Here,” Duff thrusts the prize in Izzy’s arms, “This’ll make you feel better.” 

Izzy looks at the stuffed animal in his hands. It’s a medium sized pink unicorn with a yellow horn and purple feet. 

“Seriously?” Izzy turns the unicorn over in his hands, “this is what you picked?”

Duff looks over at him with an offended expression, as if Izzy had just called his mother ugly or something. “Don’t talk about Mr. Fluffybutt like that.” Duff snatches the unicorn from Izzy and snuggles it close to his chest.

Izzy refrains from laughing as he raises a pointed eyebrow, “Mr Fluffybutt?” 

“Shut your whore mouth.” Duff says as he walks towards the carmel corn stand.

—

Over in a pavilion that looks like a reconstructed barn sits a very unamused Metallica.

“This is painful.” James cringes as the band on stage butchers their rendition of  _ The Devil went Down to Georgia. _

The fiddler is obviously new at playing because he continues to give off a high lichee screech every few notes. There wasn’t a drummer despite there being a full drum set towards the back of the stage. The band was trying to be original and attempted to put a metal twist in the song with electric guitars. It was a good idea except the lead guitarist didn’t have his guitar plugged into the amplifier and the rhythm guitar wasn’t tuned. To top it off the singer couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket and forgot half the lyrics, often jumbling over them. The only redeeming quality was the bassist, who at least had some idea of what she was doing.

“I think my ears are broken.” Kirk complains when the band finishes up the song.

Apparently the band knew they were shit because they all storm off the stage, leaving their instruments behind.

“Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?” James asks his bandmates.

“Let’s rock this hillbilly hoedown.” Lars lunges up and goes for the unused drums.

Each member picks up their respective instrument that lay abandoned on the stage.

“Hey there,” James begins into the microphone, “since the last guys left ya high and dry, we’ve decided to sing you guys a little song.

The crowd looks unamused, obviously oblivious to the stars in front of them.

James begins playing the opening riff and the rest of Metallica begin playing along.

“As I was going over the Cork and Kerry Mountains, I saw Captain Farrell and his money he was counting.” James sings and the crowd’s hard expressions soften as they realize the talent before them.

The crowd began clapping along and the few who knew the song sang with James. Then all of a sudden 4 lines form in the empty space below the stage. The crowd begins moving in sync. They were line dancing to a metal song and it was the most badass thing Metallica had ever seen.

—

“You hear that?” Izzy asks Nikki as they wait in line with their boyfriends for the tilt-a-whirl. 

“Those fuckers managed to get their way onto a stage.” Nikki shakes his head in disbelief.

“Let’s go watch!” Tommy exclaims excitedly, taking Nikki by the hand and running towards the pavilion with Izzy and Duff hot on their heels.

Weaving through the crowd the small group of rock stars make their way into the pavilion. Apparently the rest of their tour mates had a similar idea because the rest of Guns N’ Roses and Motley Crue watch the makeshift concert unravel before them. 

“No fair, I want to make a whole bunch of cowboys line dance to rock.” Tommy folds his arms and pouts like a small child not getting their way. 

“No worries T-bone, I’ve got this.” Duff jumps onto stage just as Metallica finishes their song. He walks to Jason and whispers something in his ear. Jason nods and hands him the bass. The rest of Metallica get the memo and reluctantly set down their instruments.

A huge grin finds its way on Tommy’s face when Duff begins playing perhaps the most recognizable bass line to ever exist in the history of music. Another One Bites the Dust. 

“Hell yeah!” Tommy jumps up onto the stage and sits down behind the drum kit and begins beating the drums in time with Duff’s bass.

Kirk shrugs and hops back up onto the stage and picks up his abandoned guitar and plays along. They play the riff together a few times before finally someone steps up to sing. Actually two someones. Both Axl and Vince jump up to the microphone at the same time.

Vince gets there first and snatches the mic very maturely, by sticking out his tongue at Axl. 

Vince begins singing the opening lines and points to Steven in the crowd (Vince thinks it comical since the song says the name Steve). 

_ Ooh, let's go! _

_ Steve walks warily down the street _

_ With the brim pulled way down low _

_ Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet _

_ Machine guns ready to go _

_ Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this? _

_ Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? _

_ Out of the doorway the bullets rip _

_ To the sound of the beat, yeah _

Someone finds Axl another mic and he joins Vince during the chorus. 

_ Another one bites the dust _

_ Another one bites the dust _

_ And another one gone, and another one gone _

_ Another one bites the dust, yeah _

_ Hey, I'm gonna get you too _

_ Another one bites the dust _

Vince rolls his eyes but never misses a note as he struts around the stage, intimating the great Freddie Mercury. Just as he goes to sing the next verse, he’s cut off by Axl taking it over.

_ How do you think I'm going to get along _

_ Without you, when you're gone _

_ You took me for everything that I had _

_ And kicked me out on my own _

_ Are you happy, are you satisfied? _

_ How long can you stand the heat? _

_ Out of the doorway the bullets rip _

_ To the sound of the beat _

_ Look out! _

Vince grimaces as he’s forced to sing the chorus once more with his literal arch nemesis. 

By the end of the song, everyone on the fair grounds had packed into and around the rustic pavilion. Each guest, rockers included, were line dancing all around. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions for where the next chapter should take place would be greatly appreciated :)


	7. Boo Bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I’ll be busy for the next few days leading up to Halloween, I’ve decided to finish this up and post it early. Enjoy :)

“I’ve always wanted to come to Salem.” Tommy smiles and takes in the town before him as he and the rest of his tourmates step out of their bus. 

“We’ve already been here.” Vince replies with a twinge of annoyance seeping into his cool visage. It may or may have not have been because Tommy had drawn a dick on his forehead in a sharpie as he slept on one of the leather couches on the bus earlier. An angry red mark was the only thing left of it now, since Vince had spent the last 45 minutes scrubbing it off of his skin in the tour bus bathroom. 

“I know, but we’ve never got to enjoy it.” Tommy walks out into the parking lot, enjoying the way the late October breeze wisps through his tangly hair. 

“It’s too damn cold to enjoy.” Mick grumbles from behind. He walks with a slight shiver, as he rubs his arms for warmth.

“Lighten up man.” Tommy smacks Mick on the back of the shoulder, which causes the shorter man to stumble forward a few inches.

“Stupid fucking kid.” Mick mumbles under his breath as he makes his way into the hotel lobby. 

“Hey Sharon!” Tommy calls out when he sees the redheaded woman walking past him.

“No.” Sharon answers shortly.

“But I didn’t even-” Tommy begins to protest, but is cut off.

“Whatever it is you want to get into, the answer is no.” Sharon turns to walk away but Tommy jogs up to walk next to her.

“Come Sharon. It’s Halloween and we never have Halloween off. And we’re in Salem, probably the spookiest city in America.” Tommy tries.

“I don’t trust you to behave yourself.” Sharon answers truthfully as they walk through the automatic doors leading in the hotel’s lobby.

“I swear on my drums that I’ll behave,” Tommy vows, “Please don’t make me beg.”

“Fine, but I refuse to bail you out of jail, so don’t get busted doing anything stupid.” Sharon reluctantly agrees.

“Deal!” Tommy exclaims loudly, causing everyone in the hotel lobby to stare.

“Don’t make me regret this. And be back by midnight!” Sharon points a reprimanding finger before leaving Tommy behind as she checks the group in at the front desk.

As Sharon checks them all in, Tommy begins browsing the tourist destination pamphlets that line in a neat row across from the front desk. He can feel a pair of eyes boring into him as thumbs through the first pamphlet he picks up. Turning around, Tommy expects to find Nikki staring at him lustfully (which typically happens when they first arrive at hotels since they can’t mess around on the bus without Vince and Mick throwing a fit) or Sharon glaring at him (this also typically happens when Tommy does just about anything). He feels awkward when it's neither Nikki nor Sharon he had felt staring at him. It was the young blond woman working at the front desk. 

She smiles sultrily at him and gives a wink. Tommy forces a fake grin that looks similar to the expression he forced when his great aunts would try to talk about his sex life with him as a teenager. 

The woman continues staring and smiling as Sharon walks away from the desk, handing everyone room keys. The blond saunters out from behind the desk and struts over in Tommy’s direction. Tommy didn’t particularly want to deal with desperate fans, so he attempts to think of a quick escape plan. Running away would be too obvious, so he turns around and pretends to intently read the pamphlets. He chants a silent prayer that somehow this chick will get the memo that he is in fact not interested and very much in a relationship with a man. 

Apparently God had bigger issues than Tommy’s discomfort because Tommy felt a bonny hand grasp his shoulder. He nearly shudders as the woman’s cold hand grazes his bare clavicle and spins him around. 

“Hi there. I’m Brandi, I’m a huge fan of your work.” She removes her hand from Tommy’s shoulder and extends in for Tommy to shake.

Tommy shakes it roughly as he jokingly would to one of his friends. “Tommy.” 

“I know. Your band is one of my favorites” Brandi smiles and Tommy nearly gags when he sees the red lipstick on her teeth. 

Tommy wanted to chuckle. He has had plenty of girls run up to him on the street claiming to be a big fan. In reality, they only recognized him from seeing Motley Crue on MTV. They usually didn’t even know any songs by them so Tommy liked to catch them red handed so to speak.

“Oh really?” Tommy asks, playing dumb, “What’s your favorite song?”

The girl's face drops as she stammers out a response, “U-uh why do you a-ask?” 

“Maybe I can get my singer Axl over there to sing you a song.” Tommy smiles fakely, nodding towards Guns N’ Roses singer.

“I wouldn’t want to bother him.” Brandi replies shyly, hoping that Tommy will let it go so she isn’t caught lying.

“Don’t be silly, he would love it.” Tommy gives her a smack on the back.

“So your favorite Metallica song?” Tommy insists, trying not to laugh.

“T-there’s too many to pick from. I-I couldn’t pick just one.” Brandi tries to sound convincing, but to no avail. 

“A shame.” Is all Tommy says before bounding off after Nikki who was walking towards the hotel’s elevators. 

“It was nice meeting ya Mandy!” Tommy hollars over his shoulder and chuckles when he hears Brandi huff in annoyance behind him. 

“Cute broad you had yourself there.” Nikki rolls his eyes in jealousy as he opts to climb the stairs instead of using the elevator, with Tommy hot on his heels.

“Ha!” Tommy laughs loudly, covering his mouth when the outburst echoes through the cold and empty stairwell.

Tommy takes two steps at a time in order to catch up with Nikki and sighs in frustration when Nikki begins climbing the stairs faster to get away. 

“Quit running away.” 

“Go talk to your desk receptionist.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, did you see her ass? It has nothing on your bubble butt.” 

“No I didn’t see it, cause I wasn’t checking her out. Unlike you.”

“Why would I check her out? I’ve got you.”

“I was wondering the same thing.”

“You know I’m pretty sure that you have ruined all women for me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“ Well most women don’t have what you do.”

“Which is?”

“A nine inch anaconda chillin’ in their pants.”

Nikki stops at the tops of the flight of stairs that led to their floor. 

“I hate you.” Nikki smiles, giving Tommy a playful shove.

—

The show they had that night had that night was pretty awesome. Apparently the residents of Salem loves Halloween quite a bit because almost every concert goer was clad in some sort of costume.

By the time Halloween the end of the end of the show, Tommy was bouncing with excitement. He was so overly hyper that the others around him thought he was cracked out. 

Tommy had convinced (and in some cases, forced) 7 of his tour mates to accompany him on his eerie evening. 

“You sure that I have to do this?” Nikki whines as the group of rockers walk to their first destination.

“Yep!” Tommy obnoxiously pops the ‘p’ at the end. 

“This is going to be so lame.” The bassist complains.

“It’ll be great!” Duff tried to back Tommy up, seemingly just as excited as Mötley Crüe’s drummer. 

“Let’s get this over with.” Izzy mumbles, looking as annoyed as Nikki.

Before leaving the hotel, the group had decided to go to a haunted house that was put together by the local college. The address on the pamphlet that Tommy picked up in the hotel’s lobby directs them to an old building that appears to be a hospital of some kind. 

“Salem’s Asylum for the Mentally Insane.” Nikki reads from a rusted and chipped sign placed in the front lawn. 

Other little signs litter the front yard, advertising the haunted house. The bright signs were out of place compared to the gloomy estate. Blood-curdling screams and manic laughs can be heard from inside the abandoned building. 

“Hell no!” Duff immediately turns on his heel to walk away.

Izzy grabs him by the collar of his jacket and pulls him back, “Not so fast pal.” 

“But I don’t wanna.” Duff complains, trying to give his best puppy dog eyes. 

“But you said it would be fun, remember?” Izzy uses Duff’s earlier words against him and Duff only huffs in response. 

“Come on guys! Let's go before the line gets too long.” Kirk grabs Jason by the hand and leads them towards the small line that was forming at the front door. 

The people in line didn’t seem to notice them, mistaking them for local college kids attending the haunted house for their school. They all bounce on their heels in hopes of warming up some, but to no avail. Finally, after a few painfully chilly minutes they were called to the front of the line. Kirk is the one first to stand at the booth to purchase tickets. 

A college girl flips through a magazine as she snaps her gum obnoxiously. “How many?” 

“Uh-” Kirk turns around to count the number of guys in the group.

Annoyed that the customer was taking longer than she liked, the girl looks up with a sigh, but her pinched expression soon turns into awe at the man before her.” 

“Oh my God!” she practically squeals, “You’re that dude from Metallica! Kurt right?”

“Well actually-” Kirk begins to correct her but is cut off by another voice coming from behind her.

“Someone say Metallica?” A college boy asks loudly, coming to stand by the girl at the counter of the booth. 

“H-holy shit!” The young man gasps, “Y-your Kirk Hammett!” 

“That’s me.” Kirk smiles awkwardly.

“No fuckin’ way! Jason Newsted?” The kid sputters surprised.

Jason extends his hand for the kid to shake. 

“Big fan man.” The kid enthusiastically shakes the bassist's hand. 

“You’re shitting me!” The kid says, awestruck when he sees the other rock stars waiting in line.

“I must’ve died and gone straight to rocker heaven. Nikki Sixx. Tommy Lee. Izzy Stradlin. Duff McKagen. Axl Rose. And Vince Fucking Neil.” The kid shakes his head in disbelief. 

“I just got back from your guys’ show, which was wicked by the way.” The kid informs, still not believing that his idols were mere inches in front of him.

“Can we hurry this along?” The girl asks, “We’ve got a line forming.” she gestures to the ever growing line behind.

“Sorry, sorry.” The kid apologizes.

“How much for 8 of us?” Kirk asks, fishing out his wallet.

“Don’t worry about it, this one is on me.” The kid answers.

“Thanks man!” Kirk exclaims.

“Just sign these wavers and we’re good to go!” The kid hands Kirk a stack of clipboards with pens.

After distributing the wavers and then returning them signed the kid wishes them luck as they walk towards the rickety entrance doors.

A guy dressed in white scrubs stands in front of the door with a menacing grin plastered on his pale face. 

“Welcome to Salem’s Asylum for the Mentally Insane!” He booms. “This attraction takes roughly 20 minutes to get through. If at any time you feel you cannot not go on any further, just look ahead and there should be exits awaiting you.” 

“Enjoy.” The man opens the rusted door and steps aside, letting the rockstars pass through. 

Kirk eagerly pushes past him and steps into a very dim lobby-like foyer. After Izzy is inside, who’s the last one to step through, the heavy door slams shut with a loud  _ thud, _ which makes him jump. 

“Christ!” Izzy mutters under his breath as he reaches for Duff’s hand in the dark.

“You okay?” Duff whispers softly so that only Izzy could hear.

Before Izzy can answer, a loud siren begins wailing in the asylum which is then followed by flashing strobe lights. 

“What the fuck?” Izzy lets go of Duff’s hand in favor of covering his ears from the intrusive siren. 

“Come on guys!” Kirk yells excitedly over the blaring. 

As they make their way through the lobby, the desk there is occupied. A woman sits there in an old nurse’s uniform, intently writing on what appears to be paperwork. She looks quite normal for a nurse from the 50s except for the fact that she has a pen stuck into her neck, blood oozing from the wound.

She freezes and then looks up, with a blank stare she warns, “Be aware of the patients, they are a bit rowdy today.” Then returns to filling out her papers.

There are spray painted arrows littering the floor and the walls pointing towards the way the group is supposed to go, so without hesitation Kirk follows them past the desk and into a dingy hallway. The corridor is lined with doors on each side. Some doors open, some closed. 

Kirk excitedly walks past the first door on the left, which is open. Peeking inside, it appears that a patient was hanging from shackles on the ceiling, thrashing and wailing for help.

“Save me God, save me!” The patient pleads with his head stretched towards the ceiling. 

Kirk seems thrilled as he drags an uneasy looking Jason to the next door. Tommy can hear the noises from the room before he even looks and refuses to look. 

“You wanted to do this, T.” Nikki says as he peeks inside. 

Tommy sighs and looks in. The patient has seemed to have gone limp and was just suspended lifelessly. 

“See, not so bad.” Nikki comforts Tommy.

Just as Tommy begins to relax he’s startled by the patient whipping his head to look over at him. 

“Save me!” The man cries while looking at Tommy.

Shuddering, Tommy grabs Nikki’s hand, “Moving on.” Tommy announces and begins to follow behind Kirk and Jason

Reluctantly, both Vince and Axl briefly take a look but scurry along as the patient bursts into another fit of pleas. 

The last to look is Duff and Izzy. Duff seems unaffected and goes to pull Izzy along to the next door, but is stopped when Izzy doesn’t budge. 

“Iz?” Duff asks, concerned.

“It’s crazy that they actually did this to people.”

“What are you talking about? This isn’t real.”

“They used to do this. If a patient was misbehaving, any member of the staff could chain them up and only that employee was allowed to release them. Sometimes the patients stayed up there for days on end.” Izzy shudders.

“Come on.” Duff pulls on Izzy’s arm, who finally follows behind.

The group tredges on. The next door on the left is shut and stays that way as Kirk and Jason pass it. Nikki and Tommy barely get past, when a man in a gas mask jumps out the door with a scream. 

Later on, when the group looks back on that moment, no one is sure who squealed louder. Vince or Axl. What they did know, was that they both sprinted by the man towards the very first exit and ran out the door.

The man in the mask runs down the hall and disappears into the distance behind them. 

“That didn’t take long.” Izzy mutters and Duff just shrugs.

The rest of the hallway is very similar. Some rooms are occupied by “patients”. One has a woman rocking on the floor as she cuts her hands with glass and rocks on her bed. Another man just sobs uncontrollably with blood smeared across his room and body. “They made me do it!” he wails.

Other figures jump out from behind the doors and attempt to scare the group before running down the hallway.

The rockers follow the arrows up a flight of stairs and even Kirk nearly shits his pants as a woman mocks the iconic spider crawl from the Exorcist down the concrete stairwell. 

As she slinks past them she bellows in an unnaturally deep voice. “I warned you this would happen.” 

“That was freaky as hell. Awesome!” Kirk cheers when the woman is out of site. 

Apparently the concept of the asylum was ditched on the second floor, because it looks nothing like the first floor. 

Before exiting the stairwell, a large sign reads. “There are no exit points beyond here, proceed at your own risk.” 

On the wall closest to the stairs, the words “Come play with us.” is scrawled in an auburn smudge. Then everything goes downhill from there.

First a woman, similar to the one in the stairwell, jumps down from an opening in the ceiling in front of Duff and Izzy. 

Duff jumps back into Izzy’s arms. Catching Izzy off guard, they both go tumbling to the dingy vinyl tile floor. 

Duff props himself on Izzy and looks down. “Sorry.” He smiles guiltily. They get sorted out and carefully continue on.

The next thing that happens is a goblin-looking creature pops out. Kirk couldn’t help but laugh. “He looks like E.T.!” He wheezes, nearly doubling over. 

The goblin breaks character and begins slurring profanities at Kirk. “Fuck you, asshole. You’re guitar skills are shit. Everyone is the business run circles around you without even trying. Even fuckin’ Izzy Stradlin,” the goblin pauses to gesture at Izzy, “ is a better lead guitarist than you and he plays rhythm guitar.” 

The goblin stomps off angrily, leaving a shocked Kirk. “Kinda rude. Hurts a bit, hearing my favorite extra terrestrial say that i’m a shit guitar player.

“He’s just angry ‘cause he misses Elliot.” Jason pats Kirk on the shoulder, leading him down the hallway. 

Finally, the final exit sign could be seen a few yards ahead. Thinking the failed goblin was the last scare, no one expected the grand finale.

A group of clowns of all shapes and sizes come piling out of the door the goblin came from. Screaming and laughing maniacally, they all barrel towards the group. Some skip down the hall, grinning creepily. Others stomp slowly, with glaring scowls on their painted faces.

“Uh oh.” Tommy says just as a skipping clown takes a hold of him.

Then another clown grabs Tommy, then another. In a matter of seconds, the whole group somehow separates Tommy from the group and forces him into the room from which they came from.

“NIKKI! NIKKI!” Tommy screeches as the door is shut.

“Fuck.” Nikki sighs when he tries to open the door, but finds it locked. 

“Hey guys,” Kirk says looking up from his watch, “we need to leave now it’s already 11:45 and if we don’t get back to hotel by midnight, Sharon will murder us.” 

Nikki raps his knuckles on the door. “Okay guys, fun’s over. Let ‘im out now.” 

After a few seconds go by and no Tommy, Nikki gets pissed.

“Open up fuckers. We gotta go.”

Still no Tommy and Nikki is getting really ticked. 

“Fuck this.” Nikki says before taking a step back. He brings his foot and up and kicks the door in. 

“Oh thank God.” Tommy breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Nikki. 

“What the hell dude?” One of the clowns asks Nikki, looking at the busted door.

“Sorry,” Nikki collects his boyfriend from the group of clowns, “but we have to go.”

-

After finding Axl and Vince outside, the group walks back to the hotel. 

“Fucking awesome guys!” Kirk cheers.

“You’re nuts dude.” Axl shakes his head in disbelief.

“Just ‘cause you’re a pussy and ditched within 2 seconds, doesn’t mean I’m nuts.” Kirk shrugs.

“Piss off!” Axl yells back.

  
The entire group just laughs before retiring to their rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: How do you guys feel about haunted houses? 
> 
> Are you:  
>  A) Kirk- loves haunted house, wishes they were around all year  
>  B) Jason/ Nikki/ Izzy - Only go because your significant other is forcing you  
> C) Tommy/ Duff- excited to go, but almost chickens out once you get there  
> D) Axl/ Vince- absolutely hates haunted house of any sort, is always forced against your will to go, screams like a baby   
> E) Everyone else on tour- refuses to even step foot in that monstrosity either because you think it’s stupid or are just too afraid. 
> 
> Personally I’m C. I always get excited to go, but once I’m there I become a little baby, but I usually get over it and enjoy myself by the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Some of you may know me for my works pairing Tommy/Nikki, but I also love reading Kirk/Jason and Izzy/Duff stories so I figured why not just add those in this as well. Let me know what you think! Even if this doesn’t get many reads I’ll probably still write it ‘cause the idea has been stuck in my head for a while and if i don’t write it out I’ll never get any other work  
> done.


End file.
